My Grandmother

This is one of the most personal blogs I've written. It has to do with my Grandmother, her health, and how the situation affects my younger sister and myself who are the primary caregivers and only direct next of kin. Grandma is 84 years old. With the exception of heart issues and hearing loss, she has always been in good health.

Things started to change about this time last year. She started having nightmares. Vivid ones where she thought animals were attacking her in the night. She'd wake up with bloody arms from "fighting them off". The doctor couldn't figure out what was the cause. Then she started doing out of character things like locking the door and shutting the shades during the day. After a few weeks she decided to go to a nursing care facility until the situation got straightened out. After a month and some medication alterations, the nightmares went away. Still the doctor had no clue and assumed it was high anxiety. So back home she went for the rest of winter.

Things were fairly normal until March of this year. Just some memory loss, which I assumed was normal. Then she started complaining of hip pain. She scheduled an appointment with a specialist. On the morning of the appointment she fell while getting ready. My cousin came to pick her up and found her on the bedroom floor. Her ankle was dangling from her foot, hanging by only skin. The ambulance took her to the hospital where she had successful surgery. After a week in the hospital it was off to nursing home for rehabilitation.

The process ended up being about three and half months. She recovered but would now have to use a walker because the doctor felt she could no longer support her weight in a safe manner. We did a few home modifications to help the situation and my sister decided to move in with her for a few weeks to see how she managed.

All of three days later she fell again. This time is was a hairline fracture in her pelvis. Back to the nursing home for rehab. After about two weeks the nurses started noticing personality changes, as did I. She started becoming mean and hostile towards the staff refusing to do exercises or get out of bed. When I would visit and try to confront her about the behavior she'd get emotional, cry, and complain. The nurses stated it looked like early signs of dementia but could just be the trauma catching up with her mentality. It took about about a month and half, about twice as long as it should have, but she was released and back home.

Afterwards, Grandma continued to show behavior unlike her normal self. We made an appointment to get her tested for dementia. The doctor confirmed what we suspected. She had early stages of dementia. Certain tasks she could no longer perform such as drive, handle her finances, and use the stove. But she was still capable of making normal decisions on how to carry out her day. At this point she doesn't need twenty-four hour care. My sister decided to move in to assist her with daily activities she cant do herself. My part is visiting when I can and handling her finances.

That was four months ago. The whole situation has been a struggle for all three of us. We've watched a fiercely independent woman turn into a person who refuses to make any decision. Not to mention the constant repetitiveness, contradictions to her statements, and asking questions to which she already knows the answers. Part of this the disease. Part is her way of lashing out at us since we're now the authority figures. My sister and I believe this because acts fairly normal around her friends and other family members.

Tension is now running at an all time high in the household. My sister is at the end of her patience and I can sympathize with her. I also feel badly for Grandma. I cannot image the struggle she must go through knowing her mind is slipping. I do know that something needs to change soon. The current living situation is not working any more.

Personally my stress level is over the top. My Grandma lives an hour away and I'm making multiple trips to her house during the week which plays havoc on my work schedule and leaves me little free time. Plus I'm fielding several phone calls a day while trying to play mediator and explain the same things over and over to her. It is emotionally draining me. As the Power of Attorney my fear is I need to put her into a nursing care facility or assisted living much sooner than I thought. I had hoped for another year or more, but my Grandma's seemingly selective behavior combined with my sister's inability to be a live in caregiver may force my hand. It tears me up inside.

I honestly do not know what to do.




I hope none of you ever have to deal with a loved one with any form of dementia.





Observations of an Illogical Mind by www.seankimmel.com is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
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Travels To Louisville

Once again my job had me traveling to a place I've never been before. This one a little closer to home, Louisville. The city I've drove through numerous times but have never stopped over night.

The job was at the Kentucky Convention Center, in the heart of downtown. I stayed across the street in a Hyatt. Luckily there a good amount of places to spend some time at in the area.

A cool little area downtown is called 4th Street Live. It's a couple of blocks sectioned off with a cover to protect you from the weather that is stacked with bars and restaurants. I ate at a couple of places there over my few days that really weren't all that memorable.

4th Street Live

I did some research and found the a local brewery had a bar just down the street. It's a beer maker I was familiar with and really like one of their brews, the Bourbon Barrel Stout. So one night it was off to Bluegrass Brewing Company. I slammed down a few new to me brews along with a couple of old favorites. Add in a tasty BBQ Pizza and it was a nice evening.

Bluegrass Brewing Company

My last day was fairly uneventful. Didn't really have time to do anything afterwards. I was tired and felt like crashing for the night. The next day it was back to the Fort.

A short trip to town pronounced six different ways. Unfortunately I didn't get away from the downtown area. In fact, I was hardly able to get away from the block where I stayed and worked. But it sure seems like an enjoyable little city.

Damn! I forgot to have mint julep!




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Nothing New

As the days get darker and colder, once again I fail to keep this blog updated as often as I would like. Mainly because nothing has been happening except work, painting the interior of my house when time and cash flow permits, and dealing with my grandmother's illness (which I am figuring out how to deal with and will discuss in more detail when I am more comfortable). My life is rather boring right now.

In the meantime, I've been cranking out posts nearly everyday on my other blog, Fringes of Horror, where I give short reviews on what I watch, read, and listen to in the world of horror entertainment.

And if you read my post about The Colts, well I was wrong. Completely wrong. This is about as painful of season as I can recall. And I've been watching this team since about 1985. They are terrible without Peyton Manning. And the off season should be very, very interesting. I will write up a recap at the end of the season.

Have you ever had a dream that you couldn't shake the next day? One of those is rolling through my mind today. Get the hell out!





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Vacation: Last Stop, Portland

It was only suppose to be a five hour drive.

We heading towards Portland, Maine. The quickest way and most scenic way was to drive through the Green Mountains. Again, lots of rural area. Not a big deal. All of us enjoy the scenery. On a different type of vacation would have done some hiking and took some pictures.

The traffic was thick, but steady as we traveled through the mountains. Lots of tourists seeing the sites on this Saturday. As we come out of the mountains and to a town on the edge of the New Hampshire state line we came to stand still traffic. It took 2.5 hours to travel the next 15 miles. I dont know what was going on in the New Hampshire town but the town as we crossed the Maine border had a fair which caused the traffic halt. I never would have guessed it.

Green Mountains

A scenic drive through the heart of the state becomes much less interesting at night. We finally arrived at the hotel, about ten miles north of Portland. It was 9:30pm. We passed a restaurant called The Muddy Rudder, which we decided would be a good place to eat. The place looked fancy but had a laid back feel once inside. They were about an hour to close and very few customers. This was our lobster meal. Because when traveling in Maine one must eat lobster.

In my belly

We were all wiped out. Briefly discussed going into Portland but decided for the hotel instead. I was up and ready to travel around 9am, but my friends slept a couple more hours. We had a decision to make. Watch football or travel the coast. Football won out. We watched the early games at a crappy sports bar, luckily all four of our favorite teams played early.

The one thing I wanted to do in Portland was go to The Great Lost Bear. The Bear is regarded as one of the best beer bars in the United States. It's easy to see why. Many local drafts on tap and a fine selection of Euro beers. If I lived in the area this place would be my go to bar of choice. A nice atmosphere, a person could spend a decent amount of time just looking at the decorations, and very friendly staff. They also had good food as we all ate and drank beers for a few hours.

Great Lost Bear

I would have content staying there all night and drinking, which is what the day turned in to, but some a couple of the other guys wanted to go other places. I gave up my driving responsibilities for the evening as Tom volunteered to be the designated driver. This might have been the first time ever for him to do so. Disappointed, we left the bar as I did not want to make the trip all about what I wanted to do.

We found a place called Brian Boru. It reminded me of a bar I would have hung out in college. They had a musical act playing and the place was fairly packed. Lots of young maidens for the eyes.

Brian Boru

We drank for a few hours and tried to find another place to quench our thirst. Everything was closing as it was around 1am on Sunday. So we traveled back to the hotel for sleep.


The original plan was to travel to Salem, Mass for awhile, then back home. After drinking all night, we knew no one would want to get up early to do this. So another audible was called: Sleep in and start the travel back to Fort Wayne (then to Indianapolis for the other three, then on to Nashville for Paul).

We took off about 11am and though another scenic ocean side drive through Maine would be cool. Wrong. We did not see hardly any ocean, except in the distance and the traffic was terrible. This stretch of highway was just one little town after another. I would have never guessed so much traffic. Do a good amount people on the East Coast get Columbus Day off work?

We spent a lot of time in the car and finally stopped at Eerie, PA. Slept and hit the road at a good time. Got back to my house around 3pm. This would have got everyone back at a good time, especially Paul since he had the farthest to go and had to work the next morning.


All in all, a good trip and a much needed one for myself. I needed a few days of escape from my personal life. We didn't get to do everything we all wanted. Too much ground to cover in too short of time. Would have loved to see more of Maine, particularly upstate coastal. Maybe another time with a little more planning.

Great friends, awesome beer, cool scenery, and tasty food outweighed the other tiny mishaps. Next summer we should do a trip to the Northwest... or maybe down to Texas.

Who knows if any trip will happen. But I'll go on another one.





Observations of an Illogical Mind by www.seankimmel.com is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
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Vacation: Next Stop, Burlington

The morning surrounded us with lack of sleep and too much fine wine. But Vermont awaited. So we endured and traveled on.

The scenic route through upstate New York is the way we chose. Through the heart of Adirondack country. Winding roads, small town after small town, trees abound, and lakes a plenty was the view. The beauty the cool.

The constantly changing speeds combined with curves and hills was not as pleasant. It made me a tad nauseous. It made Tom extremely sick, leading to multiple pull over on narrow roads. He blamed the ills on delicious country cheese we picked up. No one bought it.

The day took much longer than anticipated but the scenery was worth the extra time. As dusk neared, we finally hit the state line and the ferry ride into Vermont.

My first ferry ride

Destination for the day achieved we decided to find a hotel in Burlington. We drove around for quite awhile searching for a place (not my favorite thing to do as I like to get hotels in advance). Finally got a room, cleaned up quickly, and headed to the Church Street Marketplace. If you've never been there, it's a section of downtown with nothing but shops, eateries, and bars. Plus part of it is sealed off so car traffic cant pass through. Personally, I love cities with this type of central area for things.

It was happening on this Friday night. The people were out in full force, especially the local college kids. I wanted to try The Farmhouse, as its known for good food and brews but when we discovered a 1.5 hour wait, we jettisoned. We ended up at a place called Ken's Pizza and a grabbed an decent pie.

After walking around a we decided to check out Vermont Brewery. Glad we did. Superb quality of beers crossed my lips with many inexpensive samplers. My favorite being the Vermont Smoked Porter.

Vermont Brewery

We were all getting tired so it was time to go back to the hotel. A wise decision to sleep in was made and I awoke feeling refreshed for the first time in days. We decided to end up Portland at the end of the day (wanted to try Bar Harbor but didn't think time would permit) and thought it'd be a good idea to check for hotels. Good idea because they were few and far between. Reservation booked, it was time for a couple of other stops in Burlington.

The first stop was a kick ass liquor store. I needed to purchase some brews that I cannot get back in Indiana. Then it was off to Magic Hat Brewery for some more sampling. We were too early for the tour, but managed to sample just about every thing on tap. Cant believe how much different #9 tastes fresh out the tap. There's much more of an apricot taste not usually present in the bottles.

Magic Hat

Having put the other guys through enough of my microbrew fixation, it was time to get some grub. We ended up back downtown, were it was even more crowded than the evening before, and ate at some sports bar. We then walked around a bit and ventured down to shores of Lake Champlain. I failed to see Champ. Disappointment ensued.

Lake Champlain

It was the middle of the afternoon and we decided to tackle the shorter five hour driving distance to Portland, Maine. If only it was that simple....


(To Be Continued)







Observations of an Illogical Mind by www.seankimmel.com is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Please feel free to share the link but contact me for any other uses or publication. Thanks.