I admit it. I've tried an online dating service. Actually at one time or another, I've signed up to a few of the big ones. Hell, I've even paid for a full membership before. You really have to in order to receive full benefits of the web site. And I guess if you compare the number of different women I've went on a date with (2) compared to the number of months I've paid for full privileges (5), the success rate over the years in minimal. Then again I haven't been on a lot of dates from not using a dating site during that time either. That percentage is even lower.
Is there still a stigma attached to online dating? I guess it depends on your comfort level with it. I used to feel awkward about it, but could care less anymore. The reasons are simple.
I'm an introvert and a very hard person to get to know until my comfort level is high. Sometimes, that takes months and I haven't been many relationships that cover a long period of time. I also don't go out much, because I don't enjoy going alone. I never feel like going to a bar and setting around a bunch of strangers while sip a beer and watch the tv. I can do that at home. Plus, I have zero cold walk up skills. If a women sits and talks to me, I can hold a decent conversation for a short time, but I cant start one to save my ass. Also most of my close friends live an hour or more away. They're lazy and don't like to visit or drive. Cant blame them really. I don't enjoy it either, but I try to go stop in at least once a month to few places. So for me, online seems like the easy way to go and try to meet women. I can baby step it and send emails, then a phone call (which I hate too), then hopefully a date. It's all a gamble.
Maybe I'm crazy, but there are a lot of dating sites on the internet and a lot of people searching for a companion. Naturally there are also many fakes out there too. I'm a naturally hesitant person anyways, but some of the scams I've been sent are ridiculous. Girls email saying they are from Russia searching for love or a model stuck in Africa because the promoter is holding their passport for ransom. I wonder what poor sucker falls for this shit.
It's tough in the dating world. Sometimes it seems hopeless. But you cant give up or at least I cant. I'm at the age now where many women are either divorced with kids and starting a new path in life or for whatever reason never got married young. I'm fine with either, as long as it's the right lady. Hell, I've never been married or have children. It takes searching to find another who will put up with all your weirdness and you have to tolerate them too. But it's not impossible. There is not "the one" for you. The earth is too large and populated. All you can hope for is to find "that special someone." There a probably several candidates.
I was never ready for a serious long term relationship in my twenties. I was having too much fun, for the most part. I'm probably behind the curve when it comes to dating, but I have to accept that. Now in my early thirties, I'm ready. Now I just need to start taking more risks to find another.
- The Official Website of Sean Kimmmel -
This blog has evolved over time. It started as a horror movie reviews, which is now called Fringes of Horror. Then it became a place to put my writing, which is now a page called Tales of Fiction. Now, this blog is now more about the things happening in my life. My thoughts, travels, relationships, or whatever pops in my mind that I feel like writing about. Why one would care... I have no idea. But enjoy it none the less.
12.30.2007
12.21.2007
The Perfect Snow
The holiday season is upon all of us. This is the time we show how much we care and love our family and friends by purchasing them gifts that probably be recycled, exchanged, or forgot about soon after the unwrapping. A person is bombarded with advertisements during the last weeks of the year. And I love how every one of these commercials show "the perfect snow". Light fluffy snow with no wind and just cold enough to not be wet or icy. It's amazing.
I've lived in Indiana my entire life. I been through snowstorms. The "perfect snow" rarely exists. Maybe once or twice in the winter, if you're lucky, the meshing of weather conditions occurs to give this type of look. It's awesome when it does happen, but more often than not snow means cold. Snow means wind. Snow means ice. Snow means I must shovel my drive.
Too bad the perfect snow doesn't visit more often. Maybe winter wouldn't be as bad.
I've lived in Indiana my entire life. I been through snowstorms. The "perfect snow" rarely exists. Maybe once or twice in the winter, if you're lucky, the meshing of weather conditions occurs to give this type of look. It's awesome when it does happen, but more often than not snow means cold. Snow means wind. Snow means ice. Snow means I must shovel my drive.
Too bad the perfect snow doesn't visit more often. Maybe winter wouldn't be as bad.
12.13.2007
Beauty and Age
In a couple short weeks my birthday roles around. I'll be thirty-four. Not old by any means, but not as too young either. Getting older is not a big deal to me. It's another year of gained experience and knowledge gained that continues to add my over all puzzle. Reflection on my life's hits and misses is what gets me thinking and occasionaly depressed, not the aging.
Maybe I'm a rarity. Some people cant deal with aging and looking older. I've have a couple of friends that way. The mildly flip out about a wrinkle or noticing the maturity gained in your appearance. I'll never understand the reason why they act in this manner.
You also see this often Hollywood, especially with actresss around the age of 40. They get plastic surgery to straighten out wrinkles, shave access fat away around belly, and cut flappy skin off their body. They shoot botox and other drugs into their system to curb the process of aging. And many times, the work is very noticeable and does not look good. You can tell when a one time beauty now has an expression-less face pump full of chemicals, non-blinking eyelids, and constant half smile. Who convinced these once ravishing women that was the way to go? It's not a good look for any person.
Meg Ryan is a perfect example. She was an amazingly beautiful woman. Then one day, her appearances wasn't the same. It wasn't the fact that she was older, it was painfully obvious surgery had happened. Her lips were puffy and facial skin was too tight. The natual beauty was now gone. But not at the hands of father time, instead a knife was to blame. Jenna Jameson is another example and she's only in her early thirties.
Again, I honestly dont understand the thought process behind a person who wants to do that to themselves. I think maturing is sexy and elegant, even if you dont look the same as you did when you was twenty. Hell, most people dont expect it. And those that do..."paging Dr. Knife."
Maybe I'm a rarity. Some people cant deal with aging and looking older. I've have a couple of friends that way. The mildly flip out about a wrinkle or noticing the maturity gained in your appearance. I'll never understand the reason why they act in this manner.
You also see this often Hollywood, especially with actresss around the age of 40. They get plastic surgery to straighten out wrinkles, shave access fat away around belly, and cut flappy skin off their body. They shoot botox and other drugs into their system to curb the process of aging. And many times, the work is very noticeable and does not look good. You can tell when a one time beauty now has an expression-less face pump full of chemicals, non-blinking eyelids, and constant half smile. Who convinced these once ravishing women that was the way to go? It's not a good look for any person.
Meg Ryan is a perfect example. She was an amazingly beautiful woman. Then one day, her appearances wasn't the same. It wasn't the fact that she was older, it was painfully obvious surgery had happened. Her lips were puffy and facial skin was too tight. The natual beauty was now gone. But not at the hands of father time, instead a knife was to blame. Jenna Jameson is another example and she's only in her early thirties.
Again, I honestly dont understand the thought process behind a person who wants to do that to themselves. I think maturing is sexy and elegant, even if you dont look the same as you did when you was twenty. Hell, most people dont expect it. And those that do..."paging Dr. Knife."
12.06.2007
Mortality
I'm sitting at home and I have the NFL Network. Not watching, just want some noise in the background. I hear the commentators talk about Sean Taylor being killed, the mall shooting in Omaha, and the constant reminder of senseless violence. My mind starts racing about my own mortality and the legacy in which I'll leave behind.
Right now, I'm only a couple of weeks shy of 34 and there's not much of a heritage. No children yet. And since I am the last male in my bloodline, the Kimmel branch dies out with me. Friends and family with and their memories are all that will keep me immortal. But only for while. Eventually those memories will fade out.
If you ask a person how they would like to die, the most popular answer is probably peacefully in your sleep. No one wakes up in the morning and says, "Today I'll slip down the stairs and break my neck" or "How about I get stabbed in the face this afternoon". On occasions I think about how I will die. I'm hope for the old and peaceful thing, but a car accident seems more accurate.
For me, it's hard to live each day as its your last. I'm wake, go to work, come home and do various things. Certainty it's not living life to its fullest and exploring. I'd love to have my bills paid off, a modest house with conveniences, and enough money just to travel across this fantastic world we live in. But I dont. I live pay check to pay check like so many of us in America (which is better off than many places). Maybe I dont understand the concept of "living life to its fullest". And perhaps until I do comprehend it, I wont find another to share this life with and leave a proper legacy.
Right now, I'm only a couple of weeks shy of 34 and there's not much of a heritage. No children yet. And since I am the last male in my bloodline, the Kimmel branch dies out with me. Friends and family with and their memories are all that will keep me immortal. But only for while. Eventually those memories will fade out.
If you ask a person how they would like to die, the most popular answer is probably peacefully in your sleep. No one wakes up in the morning and says, "Today I'll slip down the stairs and break my neck" or "How about I get stabbed in the face this afternoon". On occasions I think about how I will die. I'm hope for the old and peaceful thing, but a car accident seems more accurate.
For me, it's hard to live each day as its your last. I'm wake, go to work, come home and do various things. Certainty it's not living life to its fullest and exploring. I'd love to have my bills paid off, a modest house with conveniences, and enough money just to travel across this fantastic world we live in. But I dont. I live pay check to pay check like so many of us in America (which is better off than many places). Maybe I dont understand the concept of "living life to its fullest". And perhaps until I do comprehend it, I wont find another to share this life with and leave a proper legacy.
11.05.2007
Wrestling #8: A Tale From the Road
For a couple of months some friends and myself had a road trip planned for Glory by Honor 6 events. Load up in a car and head out from the Midwest to Philly, then NYC to catch our favorite promotion Ring of Honor, and then back home. Often what you plan doesn't actually occur. One guy changed his mind because a few other people he knew wanted to go and decided to lead another group. Another guy couldn't make it because of a commitment that had to be done on Saturday morning. That left two of us. It was going to be more expensive, but we decided to do it anyways. Come on, it was Misawa and his first (and possibly last trip) to the US. Then last week, my traveling partner called me and found out he couldn't get off work on Friday. Another monkey wrench thrown in the plan. We decided to skip Philly and target NYC after we get off work. Unfortunately he couldn't leave until 9pm. So we met up along the toll road at about 11:30pm and the trip officially began. I forgot to mention that a couple of days before we leave, we discover the NYC Marathon is over the same weekend and will be invaded by several other visitors from other countries. This will be fun.
My friend says he can drive all night and then I'll take the day shift until we roll into NYC. After we talk and realize it's about 2am, I better get some sleep or as much sleep as you can get in a car going down the interstate. At about 5:15am, my friend cant drive any longer. On about two hours of sleep I take over. Man I am tired. But start loading myself up on caffeine and drive in the early morning twilight through Pennsylvania.
The sun never really comes up this morning as a dark gray overcast covers the sky. The time was 8:45am and we're about an hour from being out of the state. I just want to get through to outside the city and let the other person take the wheel. I let out a big yawn and rub my face, taking my eyes off the road for a few short seconds. It's too long as I hear the thumping of the car on median rumble strips. As I regain attention, a guardrail enters my vision as the front corner of the car scrapes up against it. I regain control of the vehicle and pull off the road. I am pissed. My friend abruptly wakes up and tries to figure out what happened. I am pissed. I get out of the car, my friend's car, and check out the damage. The door wont open all the way as the corner panel is pinched against it. Scraps are all down the side from bumper to bumper about 8 inches wide. I am beyond pissed. Looking around, I see no fluids leaking out or flat tires, so we jump into the vehicle and head to the next exit for further examination. Driving a mile down the highway, the vehicle doesn't sway. A good sign, but am fuming at myself as I explain what happened. We get stopped and do a further inspection on the vehicle. It seems drivable and only has damaged to the body. I am beyond angry at myself. My friend is super cool about the whole situation. Obviously, I tell him the repair bill shall be on me. This little accident bothers me the rest of the weekend.
We grab some breakfast and head off to another buddies house in Queens to park the car. We make great time as traffic isn't as bad as what I expected and get their in about an two hours. We meet up with a bunch of other fellas we know and decide it's time to go to the fan gathering. We get what seems like easy directions for the subway. One train to Manhattan, then jump on another to get the gathering. Well, the it's not. The 7 train isn't a big deal. But we find out the C train we need to connect to isn't running that day. We have no clue on which train will get us where we need to be. It's about twenty blocks and we have time, so we foot it.
At the fan gathering I see more familiar faces of the other fans I've gotten to know over the years and our gracious host Greg has once again purchased enough food and drinks for an army. We fill our bellies and hang out for a couple of hours. A group of us try and decide what to since we have a plenty of time before the show. One of the Boston guys leads us on a tour of Central Park, then we walk about thirty blocks to the Manhattan Center. That's a lot of walking! Going through Time's Square at night is amazing to see. This is my second time to New York and the first time I didn't get to see hardly anything as I was in town for work. We eventually get into the venue and it's almost wrestling time.
I love the look of the Manhattan Center. It's much bigger than it comes across on DVD. The audience is hot before the the show even begins. I'm not going to go into the details of the show. But a couple of quick notes. As one of the guys in our group stated, it's like RoH jumped in a capsule and its ECW 97 as it was an unusual show with run ins, dusty finishes, violence, blood, and normal kick ass wrestling. What most impressed me was Misawa. He was on tonight. The 42 year old was doing plancas, diving off the ropes, and brought his usual hard hitting style. At one point in the match, I thought Kenta had won and we just witness history of the GHC Title being changed on US soil, but the crafty Misawa kicked out at about 2 and 3/4's. My one beef with the show was the placement of honoring Joe Huiguchi. The crowd was violently hot after the Briscoes and Age of the Fall match went to a quick double DQ. I thought a riot would break out. To put Joe and Harley Race in the ring after that segment was odd. The crowd was very disrespectful though most of it. However when all is said and done, this may be the best RoH show I have ever seen live. And I've seen many sent 2004.
After the show we decide it's best to get on the road again instead of the after party. We say our goodbyes and hit the subway again. About an hour later, we are on the road. We get out of NYC and I try to sleep as my friend wants to take the night shift. We get into Pennsylvania about an hour later and he cant drive anymore. I take over for about thirty minutes later decide I shouldn't be driving either. It's around 3:30am and we get an overpriced hotel room to get a few hours of real sleep.
I wake up just before 8am. If I go back to sleep it may noon before I wake again. As I see the sun shining and go get some coffee. I wake my buddy up, get some food and lots of caffeine (Java Monster & Rockstar Juice = goodness), and we are on road once again. He sleeps and I drive. I get us into Ohio (about 4.5 hours) and he takes over so I can sleep, but only for a short time. He is totally wiped out and wants to pull over and nap. I am not happy about this, but since I wrecked his car don't complain much. I take back over and with the help of several stations carrying football scores and highlights make it to the place we met about 5pm. I've got over an hour left and he's get about two. We part ways and I hope he can make it home alright. I take one last look at his damages car and realize the irony. It would have been much cheaper to fly from Fort Wayne. I hope the repair bill isn't too bad. With the help of the Colts game on the radio, I make it home and can watch the second half of the game.
All in all, the time in New York was awesome. An outstanding show with good friends is more than you can ask for. I love wrestling, but more and more it's becoming about the comradeships built with others over the years. Now the driving out with two people on hardly any sleep...that need to change for next East Coast trip. I'd love to Final Battle weekend, but now don't know if I can afford it. Guess I'll wait for the repair bill. Man, I am pissed!
My friend says he can drive all night and then I'll take the day shift until we roll into NYC. After we talk and realize it's about 2am, I better get some sleep or as much sleep as you can get in a car going down the interstate. At about 5:15am, my friend cant drive any longer. On about two hours of sleep I take over. Man I am tired. But start loading myself up on caffeine and drive in the early morning twilight through Pennsylvania.
The sun never really comes up this morning as a dark gray overcast covers the sky. The time was 8:45am and we're about an hour from being out of the state. I just want to get through to outside the city and let the other person take the wheel. I let out a big yawn and rub my face, taking my eyes off the road for a few short seconds. It's too long as I hear the thumping of the car on median rumble strips. As I regain attention, a guardrail enters my vision as the front corner of the car scrapes up against it. I regain control of the vehicle and pull off the road. I am pissed. My friend abruptly wakes up and tries to figure out what happened. I am pissed. I get out of the car, my friend's car, and check out the damage. The door wont open all the way as the corner panel is pinched against it. Scraps are all down the side from bumper to bumper about 8 inches wide. I am beyond pissed. Looking around, I see no fluids leaking out or flat tires, so we jump into the vehicle and head to the next exit for further examination. Driving a mile down the highway, the vehicle doesn't sway. A good sign, but am fuming at myself as I explain what happened. We get stopped and do a further inspection on the vehicle. It seems drivable and only has damaged to the body. I am beyond angry at myself. My friend is super cool about the whole situation. Obviously, I tell him the repair bill shall be on me. This little accident bothers me the rest of the weekend.
We grab some breakfast and head off to another buddies house in Queens to park the car. We make great time as traffic isn't as bad as what I expected and get their in about an two hours. We meet up with a bunch of other fellas we know and decide it's time to go to the fan gathering. We get what seems like easy directions for the subway. One train to Manhattan, then jump on another to get the gathering. Well, the it's not. The 7 train isn't a big deal. But we find out the C train we need to connect to isn't running that day. We have no clue on which train will get us where we need to be. It's about twenty blocks and we have time, so we foot it.
At the fan gathering I see more familiar faces of the other fans I've gotten to know over the years and our gracious host Greg has once again purchased enough food and drinks for an army. We fill our bellies and hang out for a couple of hours. A group of us try and decide what to since we have a plenty of time before the show. One of the Boston guys leads us on a tour of Central Park, then we walk about thirty blocks to the Manhattan Center. That's a lot of walking! Going through Time's Square at night is amazing to see. This is my second time to New York and the first time I didn't get to see hardly anything as I was in town for work. We eventually get into the venue and it's almost wrestling time.
I love the look of the Manhattan Center. It's much bigger than it comes across on DVD. The audience is hot before the the show even begins. I'm not going to go into the details of the show. But a couple of quick notes. As one of the guys in our group stated, it's like RoH jumped in a capsule and its ECW 97 as it was an unusual show with run ins, dusty finishes, violence, blood, and normal kick ass wrestling. What most impressed me was Misawa. He was on tonight. The 42 year old was doing plancas, diving off the ropes, and brought his usual hard hitting style. At one point in the match, I thought Kenta had won and we just witness history of the GHC Title being changed on US soil, but the crafty Misawa kicked out at about 2 and 3/4's. My one beef with the show was the placement of honoring Joe Huiguchi. The crowd was violently hot after the Briscoes and Age of the Fall match went to a quick double DQ. I thought a riot would break out. To put Joe and Harley Race in the ring after that segment was odd. The crowd was very disrespectful though most of it. However when all is said and done, this may be the best RoH show I have ever seen live. And I've seen many sent 2004.
After the show we decide it's best to get on the road again instead of the after party. We say our goodbyes and hit the subway again. About an hour later, we are on the road. We get out of NYC and I try to sleep as my friend wants to take the night shift. We get into Pennsylvania about an hour later and he cant drive anymore. I take over for about thirty minutes later decide I shouldn't be driving either. It's around 3:30am and we get an overpriced hotel room to get a few hours of real sleep.
I wake up just before 8am. If I go back to sleep it may noon before I wake again. As I see the sun shining and go get some coffee. I wake my buddy up, get some food and lots of caffeine (Java Monster & Rockstar Juice = goodness), and we are on road once again. He sleeps and I drive. I get us into Ohio (about 4.5 hours) and he takes over so I can sleep, but only for a short time. He is totally wiped out and wants to pull over and nap. I am not happy about this, but since I wrecked his car don't complain much. I take back over and with the help of several stations carrying football scores and highlights make it to the place we met about 5pm. I've got over an hour left and he's get about two. We part ways and I hope he can make it home alright. I take one last look at his damages car and realize the irony. It would have been much cheaper to fly from Fort Wayne. I hope the repair bill isn't too bad. With the help of the Colts game on the radio, I make it home and can watch the second half of the game.
All in all, the time in New York was awesome. An outstanding show with good friends is more than you can ask for. I love wrestling, but more and more it's becoming about the comradeships built with others over the years. Now the driving out with two people on hardly any sleep...that need to change for next East Coast trip. I'd love to Final Battle weekend, but now don't know if I can afford it. Guess I'll wait for the repair bill. Man, I am pissed!
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